butterflies hurt us
today we did 8 50m of butterflies (with fins)
regardless of the fins that drill..hmmm
caused me PAIN (my ankle, shoulders, stomach, thighs, calves, etc)
i love swimming
but swimming can be painful haha
who decides?
I have a grandma that i really really really love she is not related to me in any way, but our family spent about five years with her when we were in the states and i honestly was much more attached to her than my real grandmothers when i was younger. However, last summer, grandpa passed away and grandma suffered greatly. They loved each other very much and did everything together, but now since grandpa was gone grandma became really lonely. When we called her for Christmas she sounded tired and exhausted. She said that she missed grandpa very much and that she was lonely alone.
A couple days ago my mom suddenly woke me up early in the morning, and told me that grandma had cancer. The e-mail from grandma’s daughter said that the cancer spread out very quickly and that she wouldn’t have much more time left. Lauraine (grandma’s daughter) said that grandma lost her appetite and lost weight after grandpa’s death, but they all thought that it was because of the shock of grandpa’s death, not because of the cancer. Initially i became numb. I couldn’t believe what i was reading. It was just like when i heard grandpa died, but worse, because our family promised that we will visit them again. It has been nearly 10 years since our whole family visited the states. At the end of every phone call and every letter we promised that we will visit them, visit her. Whenever we told them that they would say that they didn’t have enough time, that we should come as soon as possible. At this point, we really don’t have time, and nothing can be sure. Our family doesn’t know if we can visit her, and i am not sure if she could wait for us.
grandma and grandpa are and were great people. They are in fact the nicest people i’ve ever met so far. They are devout Christians who were full of love. I do not know who decides what happens to life but i know for sure that this is not fair. I miss both of them so much and i know that i just have to meet her no matter what. We missed grandpa and we cannot miss her too.
if god really is out there
he should please help grandma
he should
At this point..
I have a psychology test, physics test, chinese oral+dictation tomorrow
i slept until ten and now i’m..doing nothing…
i guess desperate situations lead to..irrational behavior
debate? speech?
I competed in a speech & debate competition this saturday
and i have to say that the whole competition was such as surprise for me.
I am proudly and sadly an adamant lover of speech & debate
frankly i was never successful
i got eliminated and eliminated and eliminated
but i just couldn’t quit it because i LOVE debating
and i always HAD to think..maybe next time
well..
this time i didn’t debate because i had a pretty tight schedule after BosMUN
so i decided to do impromptu and oratory
I was not confident
because first of all
For impromptu, i don’t think my brain is quick enough to think about a 5min speech in 3min
and i don’t think my English is fluent enough to talk nonstop for 5min
For oratory, i wasn’t too sure about my speech
the only thing i was sure about was that my parent completely HATED the speech
they teased me the whole time i was reciting it
BUT
really to my surprise i managed to go up to the finals for both of them
i was too surprised to be happy
because seeing my code number on the wall
is NOT what i usually get to do..
i spent about ten minutes in complete disbelief
until i realized that i was the first person to do impromptu and i had 5 minutes until the competition
i ran to the third floor and found out that the room was occupied so all the contestant were waiting
outside of the room
everybody seemed to be flattered, nervous, and confident all at the same time
contrarily…. i bet i looked quite miserable because i couldn’t function until that time
a few minutes later we could go into the room
rate after the judges arrived i had to pick my quote from the envelope
i could pick three quotes without looking and then was able to pick one among them
i chose the quote about lies..
it was something about how lies travel so fast that the truth doesn’t even have time to put on its pants?
I really couln’t think
i really was nervous
i wrote “don’t panic” on my prep paper
but how could i not panic!???
i was panicing…
i decided to talk about gossip
the glamor of it, the bad effects of it, and how we should face gossip
i really have to thank the lovely girl from SFS who made a lovely speech about gossip because she gave
me some of the information i was using in my speech!!
well i somehow finished my speech and ran to the other room where i had to make my speech
i waited for one speaker and it was my turn
i tried to pull it off
but wow..i cut off about 1/4 of my second paragraph haha
honestly i didn’t expect much from both of the events
so i just waited in the auditorium without much thoughts
actually i was debating whether i should take the school bus or the subway back home
the announcement started and
for the second place for imromptu
oh my gosh
i heard KIS Sunny Lee
and for oratory
i heard for second place KIS Sunny Lee
again!!
both of them
were so unexpected
i was so happy and thankful thankful and thankful
later on Ms. Halverson congratulated me and said that she was glad that
i FINALLY got prizes 
on the way back home (by the way subway won)
i thought about the competition
and how it was my first time competing for impromptu and oratory
and how i debated my whole high school career
rather unsuccessfully..
maybe debate is not my element
but i love it
without a ‘maybe’
i seriously am thinking about whether i should stick with impromptu and oratory
…….urgh
not that i do not like impromptu and oratory
but……………
why can’t debate just love me back?
First Blog!!
This is the second blog I’m having
It’s always really exciting to have my little space
my older blog is very highly, extremely informal
and i am wondering how this blog should be………
