Sunny is Great

Recently i suffered from a very very very weird symptom of feeling the bitter sweet thrill of graduating myself when i am…actually a JUNIOR. I know that it is very very very silly, but during the award ceremonies and during the spring concert i felt a sting in my nose, heart, and eyes whenever the seniors were hugging the teachers or whenever the teachers said that they are going to miss the seniors. I find this exceptionally weird as i did not have particularly tight and intimate relationships with the seniors. I think all the emotions that i felt was the slight hint of emotions that the seniors actually felt. Of course, the surge of feelings that the seniors feel will be much more overwhelming than my bizarre symptoms, yet still, for some reason i felt like i was graduating.

Now, i no longer suffer greatly from these symptoms as the panic of SAT 2s really hit me and all the final projects are making me sick… I realized, although i knew it all along, that i am not graduating, and that i have so much left to even think about the end.

When i was suffering from my abnormal disease it was really hard for me because i dreaded, and am still dreading, the end of the year. Mr. Aitken said that it was rather strange for me to not want summer vacation but i’ve got things to do before the end of this year.

i have true respect and veneration toward the seniors and all those who graduated. I now understand what they went through and am about to meet the final hills of high school. (by the way i met Rhee Soo!)

I know that i have been saying extremely depressing stuff throughout the past few weeks and repeatedly told myself and through the blog that i needed to get a grip and rise from the very unpleasantly crumpled thoughts and swirling force of depression and loss of motivation, but i think i don’t need to be all depressed anymore. What i need to do is to NOT think but just do whatever i need to do because i have things to do, dreams to grasp, goals to reach, ego to recover, life to pursue, and me to be.

credit: http://search.boston.com/local/Search.do?s.sm.query=housing%20market&new=n&s.si(simplesearchinput).offset=10