it was depressing at best and i was (perhaps am) about to have a melt down

i get easily stressed and the stress that i am feeling is on the verge of becoming dangerous

as a result i spent the most unproductive weekend ever

it is easy for me to just let go of things but before i let go of things

i go through painful processes

i may be a girl who gets stressed well and obsesses with petty things

but i believe that my obsessions are imporatan at least at this moment

what i am obsessing over can be directly connected to my future……..

i do not want my dream to be ruined

i am scared

i am really scared

i had a similar experience about 3 years ago but i understand that my current circumstances are worse

i do not know how to recover in a snap

i do not know what to do when why dreams are jeopardized

i know how to give up dreams

but that is the last thing i want to do

i need to snap out of this pathetic me

wake up

wake up

and face it

do whatever you can do to fix this

there are ups and downs in life and since i hit the bottom

it’s time to soar

yes, i am incredibly miserable but

no, i will not make my life itself miserable

and yes, i will make my life incredible from now on

photo credit:http://www.the-reel-mccoy.com/movies/2004/TheIncredibles.html

i regret for not being able to be well prepared and i regret that i made a HUGE mistake while taking the world history exam. I do not want to blame everything on external forces but i really think that i am out of luck these days. From the SATs….and now my AP.

Stilllll…regardless of how grumpy i feel time passes  and things happen

now it is nearly the end of the year and i need to pump my energy up to raise my grades that DROPPED and i have to start being prepared to become a good senior

i don’t want to make a mess out of my senior year

i don’t wan to mess with the most important year of my high school career like i did..this year!

Still i want to make the best out of my junior year

and i want to have a wonderful senior year

no more messy days for me

just good good days should be and will be waiting for me